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Bad Joke of the Week
A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change.
After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row.
Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition this is, considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.
Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily handing out tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender’s neck and killing her.
Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything – but the guy won’t die. So again, he is set free.
Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him one day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and again survives the electrocution.
At this point, the failed executioner can take no more, his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret.
“What is it with the bananas?” “Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it,” replies our friend. “I’m just a bad conductor.”
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Christchurch Boy Racers Cruising Ban
People living in Christchurch’s new no-cruising zones say they enjoyed a quiet weekend.
The Christchurch City Council’s no-cruising bylaw – which bans cars from travelling in convoys or doing laps on certain roads at set times – came into force on Thursday. Bealey Ave motelier Bev Browne said the road had been “much, much quieter”.
“Usually on Saturday night and Friday I don’t get to sleep until 3am, so something must be working. I got to sleep as soon as I went to bed.”
Maggie Grant, owner of the Argyle on the Park motel on Deans Ave, said the lack of engine noise was “amazing”.
“I didn’t notice whether the volume of traffic was less, but certainly the noise was.
“As far as we are concerned from a business point of view, we are over the moon. It’s just amazing.”
Canterbury Police Acting District Commander John Price said the weekend seemed to have been “reasonably quiet”.
“Police had staff out that were enforcing the [anti-cruising] legislation and it appears as though it’s been effective in quelling some of the boy-racer activity,” he said.
Those who break the bylaw could be fined up to $1000.
Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker said the first weekend of the new bylaw “augured well”.
“The police have told us they do have techniques which will allow them to successfully enforce the law. The ultimate test is the test of time.”
SOURCE – Stuff.co.nz
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Categories: Uncategorized Tags: boy racers, BOYRACERS, Christchurch, crusing, Driving, Police, Racing, Street
